Sometimes you have a sh*t week and you just have to be there. In the middle of all the mess and sadness and frustration and just– be. This past week was mine.
I spent a consecutive 10 days at home with one or the either child being sick at home. My son had a bacterial staph infection. Then my daughter had a sinus infection that turned into an ear infection. Then my son got all the nasal congestion. Then my husband got sick. All the while, I feel fine but basically am resorted to being a cushion on the couch for my kids to pile on while intermittently getting tissues and food for everyone.
THIS ISNT THE SH*T PART OF MY WEEK YET.
But it was all okay because husband and I had a weekend getaway to Austin planned and it was getting me through the hours on the couch. On the day my kids were finally feeling better and I could vaguely see the light of day again, like I might actually get to go outside the four walls of my house; Hurricane Harvey begins his approach on the coast of Texas. Cue tears here. I hit my limit. I am terrified enough of regular storms. I didn’t have any idea what all a hurricane even entailed. I knew I didn’t want any fricken part of it though.
We packed up a small suitcase, a cooler of my “essentials”, ie: booch + almond butter, and headed on our way to stay with Trey’s parent’s who live a couple hours north east of Houston. I thought for sure we’d be back home in a short few days. WRONG. I fully underestimated Harvey.
From then it’s just been hours of tracking Harvey and checking on our house through our video doorbell while it pours outside. Realizing Trey will be out of work for the week as we see the catastrophic flooding happening all over Houston, I let myself dip even a little lower. I had to get myself off social media… it was too much to watch everyone having picnics and pool parties in the sun shine as I was enclosed in my sweat pants and side pony.
I had to rein myself back in. I could feel myself allowing my anxiety to creep up and the pity party beginning. Then I saw some people having a REAL SHIT week. Friends having to be rescued by boats from their homes, co-workers of my husband’s sending photos of their home under 4 feet of water and evacuating to shelters with their kids. And the amazing people leaving their safe havens to go out and rescue more people with their own boat. Suddenly, I had nothing to complain about. My family was safe and dry. My kids are with me and I didn't have to drag them through dirty flood water out of our house. We are blessed. We are hugely blessed. I thank God we are safe and my kids won’t have the memories of what it would be to be saved from a flooded house. I watched moms holding their young kids that looked the same age as mine in their arms riding in a tiny aluminum boat down what used to be their neighborhood street. I feel ridiculous for ever whining about being bored because I am stuck inside. It's embarrassing to even admit having those thoughts with so many people hurting right now and losing so much.
I must remind myself, it's not about me.
The devastation of Harvey barely touched me. I can't go out in boats and help rescue people but I can give. Convoy Of Hope is an amazing organization that ALWAYS shows up. They respond and bring relief to so many in disaster situations. I trust that giving to them will make an actual difference in someones life that was affected by Harvey.
If there was anything positive to come out of this horrible storm it is the way Texans linked arms together and picked each other up (literally). Harvey knocked out all the news on the heartbreaking events of hatred that took place in Charlottesville a couple weeks ago and replaced it with stories of strangers of every race and every background caring for each other and going to great depths to help one another. It's beautiful and uplifting. And it was quite the cap to this terrible week.
Wrapping this up I have just a few closing revelations:
- I’ve got some real good friends. People that love me deeply. That care for not only me but my husband and my kids. I cherish you.
- Life will always suck when you are solely focused on yourself.
- I am not cut out for hurricanes.