All Aboard The Struggle Bus
Hey there. I’ve missed you and the rhythms of True. Three months later, I’m ready to share a bit of what I’ve been up to, why I no longer post on True Co, and epiphanies I am in the midst of.
As I shared at the beginning of summer, my husband I officially broke up with the city (Cincinnati, I promise our love for you was true) and bought an 1800’s home in a rural area to rehab. When we purchased the house, I shared that you might see less of me until our kitchen was done.
Well, then I fell off the face of the Earth because… WE ARE PREGNANT! Little did I know, I was already pregnant when we closed on our new home. I’ve had to let go of my dreams of going full-Chip & Joanna Gaines on this house - because demo, paint, asbestos, and the general dangers of a rehab don’t go well with pregnancy!
And in True’s true style of honesty: my first trimester was far from the standards I had for myself (yay hyperemesis gravidum). This pregnancy knocked me off the high horse I rode on about pregnancy and being a mom. I learned real quick not to judge another woman because I don’t know her situation. I also learned not to be so hard on myself and to not let the VERY REAL mommy-shaming seep into my inner peace.
With my first trimester under my belt, let me share what I’ve learned so far:
Planning is great - but I can’t let my plans become my expectations…
… with pregnancy, my decisions, what I expect out of my baby’s health, or my coming motherhood. “Winning” does not equal perfection in motherhood.
I should trust my intuition.
After becoming really sick for 4 days, I knew something just wasn’t right. I didn’t want to bother my practice because I had a lot of moms telling me “feeling sick is normal.” After abandoning friendly advice, I went in to my practice to find I was dehydrated and on a path to needing a lot more medical intervention to ensure the baby was getting the nutrients he needed. Lesson learned… if something feels wrong - SPEAK UP.
Don’t judge other pregnant women or moms.
I was so guilty of this until this pregnancy. I super-judged any pregnant woman eating fast food because how could she? Now I know that until I know her journey, I have no room to make judgements… because if a hamburger is all she can keep down, it is much better than staring herself and her sweet baby.
Stay off mommy blogs & forums.
Someone will inevitably come at you out of nowhere and say you’re going to kill your baby due to your medical/holistic/health/lifestyle decisions - so just stay out. I learned this one quick. Pregnant trolls don’t know your journey, so their opinion doesn’t count. And back to #3, if you don’t know her journey, don’t shame another woman on the internet.
Medical doctors deserve my trust.
I didn’t trust doctors until my pregnancy. If I didn’t trust my doctors now, I would switch. I am very much so holistic-minded, so it was hard for me to build that trust with doctors. My experience with HG taught me that medical intervention and medications are there for a reason… when holistic approaches don’t work.
Medical Doctors > “Internet Doctors”
With all these pregnancy apps and forums, it is easy to get nervous or take advice from other women. Forums are great for bottle suggestions, but when it comes to my health - I am going with my doctor’s advice every time.
Post-miscarriage pregnancy isn’t the same.
My first pregnancy, I was so excited and hopeful… I daydreamed 24/7! After losing our first baby, I lost that innocent joy that comes with pregnancy. While Kyle and I have done well at staying hopeful, we still can’t recapture that joy we had the first time. We are slowly letting ourself get excited and re-imagining life as parents… but it has taken effort. These feelings are 100% okay and a part of the real grieving process of losing an unborn child.
I’m more prepared than ever.
I know I would be a great mom - whether this happened at age 17, or now, at 27. While I missed out on being a young parent, I also understand that I am more ready than ever. I have emotionally matured a lot over the past 3 years particularly. Our miscarriage instilled a thankfulness of life that I didn’t have before. And now that I am a bit older, I understand that I need to get my crap together before I unknowingly give my bad habits to my children.
Carbs are a beautiful and powerful thing.
On a lighter (or wait, heavier?) note…. I officially appreciate the power of carbs. I’ve spent much of the past 3 years fearing just about any carb unless it was in a vegetable. Carbs (YEP… even the “bad” ones) have kept me alive the past few months. While I wouldn’t have picked for my pregnancy to go like it has, I am not beating myself up over it. Instead, I’m eating a breadstick and keeping it down in celebration of surviving the first trimester.